This arrived in my email box today.
All those confusing abbreviations one has to try and remember involving the stock market are now answered in this blog entry.
Enjoy!
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NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids
get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling
lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their
pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split
your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it
disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker
who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's
now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
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9 comments:
BROKER -- What my broker has made me
too funnie.
I heard some say recently about Breaking News....
why is it breaking and why don't they fix it ?
Alan: regarding Breaking News. It's a bit overdone and after a point, one is so numb from all the "breaking news" that when some really important news needs dispensing, we all ignore it.
Sure is Butch...
when I see Breaking News...I just wonder... what ...Lassie's probably having puppies or something.
Alan: ;-) Now that would be a story worth noting since the dog(s) that played Lassie were male. ;-)
those are pretty good
Wonder Man: And closer to the truth more than we want to admit. ;-)
Didn't you see Lassie on Oprah Butch?...he gave birth :)
Alan: ;-) I must have missed that show. Of course, most kids watching the Lassie show were saved the "spectacle of seeing a testicle" ( or two ) since Lassie had very long fir. ;-)
That of course, should be,
"fur." ( sigh... happy fingers )
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